Nine innings: 05.09.07
Playing nine innings while feeling a whole lot better about the Hanley
Ramirez trade these days . . .
1. Okay, so maybe we went a little over the top with our Kinison-like
rant in ripping Roger Clemens the other day. It's just that of all of
the things about Clemens that aggravate us - the convenient "tweaks"
when a game isn't going his way, his knack for shrinking when the
moment calls for him to stand tall, his demand for more perks than any
diva in Hollywood, his phony aw-shucks demeanor - it's the oaf's
chronic dishonesty that bugs us the most. Why did he have to stand
there in Steinbrenner's lair and, peering smugly at the Yankee Stadium
peons below, try to claim that he's back with the Yankees because they
so quaintly "came and got him out of Texas"? Why can't he just admit
that it's about what it has always been about with him: THE MONEY,
STUPID! There's nothing wrong with that, particularly in this day and
age, and yet the disingenuous rube thinks he's fooling us by claiming
it's about everything but the cash. Who's he trying to kid? Remember
when his name came up in the Jason Grimsley case? His first concern
was that it was going to cost him endorsements. He's made
$100-something million in his career, Koby, Kielbasa, Klambake,
Kareem, and all the other "K" kids are financially set for several
lifetimes, and yet he's more worried about losing his five-figure gig
pitching Preparation H than about how being pegged as a juicer would
affect his legacy. And still, in the face of his transparent greed, he
has the hubris to act as if his cause is something far more noble than
further engorging his bank account. What a fraud. Let me just make one
more point before I go ballistic again: Had the Red Sox somehow outbid
the Yankees in this charade - and given the desperation in the Bronx,
that was not going to happen - you know he'd have fed us a similar
line of Texas bull about how much coming home to Boston means to him
and all of that treacly, Dr. Steinberg-scripted nonsense. Would we
have eaten it up? Well, I suddenly find myself looking forward to
watching Randy Moss play for my favorite team after years of despising
the guy, so in the spirit of the truth I'll admit that, yeah, I'd
swallow a heaping helping of hypocrisy and probably cheer Clemens,
even though I'd hate myself in the morning. Hey, we sports fans are
suckers for sentiment. Just ask Roger.
2. Unless David Ortiz actually enjoys the WEEI-driven conjecture about
his own enhanced performance since he became a Red Sox, he'd be wise
to refrain from any further head-scratching proclamations that he
doesn't believe Barry Bonds knowingly used steroids. We appreciate
Papi's good (if ill-informed) intentions, but he must realize than any
time a slugger of this era speaks up in defense of Bonds, he
immediately becomes a target of steroid suspicion himself. As for a
certain other Sox player who weighed in on Bonds Tuesday, let's just
leave it at this: When Curt Schilling had his chance before Congress
to opine on steroids' impact on his profession, he clammed up to the
point that we half expected him to pull the Sammy Sosa No hablo Ingles
routine. Please, spare us the sanctimony now.
3. The pining for Alex Cora to play every day has died down now that
Dustin Pedroia has begun to look like he belongs, and that's a good
thing. While Cora is certainly a valuable member of the roster - this
isn't the first time I've said he's the best utility player the Sox
have had in my lifetime, and it won't be the last - he's a 31-year-old
who has a .246 average in 10 big-league seasons. As a certain local
football coach might say, he is what he is. The Sox are wise to give
Pedroia an extended chance, and should he prove incapable of handling
it, Cora should remain in the reserve role in which he thrives, while
someone out of the Graffanino/Grudzielanek/Loretta cookie-cutter is
brought in to take the majority of the at-bats.
4. If you thought you've been saying, "Did you see that catch Coco
made?" on a frequent basis lately . . . well, according to Bill James
via Seth Mnookin, there's a good reason for that, and it's not because
you're suffering a flashback to that excruciatingly ubiquitous NESN
commercial of a season ago. Crisp has been dazzling in center field
lately, averaging roughly one Web Gem every other game or so, and at
the plate and on the bases he's starting to look like the dynamic
player the Sox coveted as Johnny Damon's successor. Hmmm, maybe he's
going to thrive here after all.
5. You've probably heard this by now, but it's worth hearing again,
because this hilariously shrill snippet of Yankee propaganda is so
over-the-top that even Georgie Porgie mouthpiece John Sterling seemed
taken aback. This will never get old. Heck, I'm putting it into heavy
rotation on the iPod just to bring a little more comedy to my day. And
for the record, I'm pretty sure Suzyn Waldman is what Glenn Geffner
would sound like if he worked for the Yankees, idolized Liza Minnelli,
and had a more masculine voice.
6. Toronto's Vernon Wells is becoming the Joe Carter of era, an
outstanding all-around player who spends an inordinate amount of his
time absolutely slaughtering Red Sox pitching. And like Carter, his
predecessor by a generation as a Blue Jays signature player, Wells is
an affable star whose ego has not swollen in proportion to his salary,
as this fun story indicates.
7. Thirty-one games into his Boston tenure, Julio Lugo is the same guy
I saw all those years in Tampa Bay: occasionally exciting, often
erratic, and not someone you're terribly interested in having on your
favorite team. I'm not going to go all Lobel on you and wonder why the
Sox let Alex Gonzalez depart, because his currently stellar offensive
numbers will be subpar once the summer is over. But I still don't
understand Theo Epstein's fascination with Lugo, let alone for the
4-year, $36-million price tag.
8. Despite his Mark Clear imitation in his 2007 debut last night,
we're going to stick by our binky and repeat our preseason prediction
that Devern Hansack will be a valuable contributor to the Red Sox
pitching staff this season. His command was clearly on the fritz last
night; judging by what I saw of him last summer in Portland, that's
highly unusual. Hansack is a strike-throwing machine with good
movement on his low-90s fastball, a decent changeup, and a tight,
sharp slider that is a major-league out pitch, as Frank Thomas found
out last night. He's 29, with an unusual backstory and hardly the
Baseball America pedigree, but you can hold me to this: Given a fair
chance, Hansack will succeed in the big leagues.
9. As for today's Completely Random Baseball Card:
Macha, the less-than-beloved former A's manager who once employed
Terry Francona as his bench coach, is the latest addition to NESN's
cadre of studio analysts. The early verdict: Though he's got about as
much charisma as a sanitary sock, he brings an insider's knowledge
when he talks about players' strengths and weaknesses. We still wish
The Eck had the gig every night, but Macha has the potential to be a
decent second option.
Labels: Alex Cora, Barry Bonds, Coco Crisp, David Ortiz, Devern
Hansack, Dustin Pedroia, Julio Lugo, Nine Innings, Roger Clemens, Sam
Kinison, Suzyn Waldman, Vernon Wells
posted by Chad Finn @ 5:31 AM |
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