Sunday, 24 February 2008

roch kubatko is jock sniffing turd



Roch Kubatko is a Jock Sniffing Turd

And other things that have pissed me off lately.

First things first, here is where Roch Kubatko demonstrates his

aforementioned Jock-Sniffing-Turdiness, in a blog entry about Jay

Gibbons' suspension for receiving illegal PEDs. The gist is that

Gibbons should be quickly forgiven because he was a man about it all,

took responsibility, even "offer[ed] a plausible explanation."

Sure, Gibbons took responsibility, now that he got caught. Once the

investigators back you into a corner and say, "here are the credit

card receipts, here is the proof that you bought all these illegal

drugs" it's easy to admit you did it. As for offering a plausible

explanation, well...Gibbons said he took a doctor's advice, to recover

from injuries more quickly. [Expect this excuse to get very popular

soon]. Was Gibbons suffering from any of the following; multiple

sclerosis, fibromyalgia, Crohn's disease, renal failure, short bowel

syndrome, idiopathic short stature? No. Oh. Then why did his doctor

recommend it? Probably because it was a prescription mill in another

state that was selling the stuff over the internet.

Not to mention this sampling of Jay Gibbons quotes from the past few

years:

November 2005: "We want to end the problem now and get back to playing

ball and not worrying about steroids every day."(The problem being

PED/steroid use).

October 2006: "I have passed every test administered by Major League

Baseball over all the years. I have never taken anabolic steroids. And

I am not going to dignify these claims and accusations with any

further response." (Responding to Grimsley).

That's not "taking responsibility." That's "choosing one's words

carefully" and, less precisely, "lying" and "being a dishonest shit."

But we're supposed to forgive him for this, eh Roch? No. No, I think

not. But I think what we are supposed to do is understand that you

don't want to take a hard line with any of the players, that you want

to keep being a warehouse mouthpiece, that you want to keep cracking

lame jokes on your blog and not knowing much about what makes a

baseball player, or team, any good. Roch Kubatko: jock sniffing turd.

(Note, I am going to keep saying that...Roch Kubatko is a jock

sniffing turd...because my sincere hope is to somehow link the terms

"jock sniffing turd" and "Roch Kubatko" in Google searches, so that if

someone types in Roch Kubatko they will see references to "jock

sniffing turd," or that if...and it could happen...they type in "jock

fans).

Now, today, Gibbons says he's going to try to win the fans back. To

wit: "All I can do is go out there and try to play good baseball and

try to win them back. That's my goal."

Given that Gibbons appears to not yet have actually played good

baseball at any time in the past several years, I must assume one of

two things. First, he has not tried to play good baseball. In that

case, the fact that he is going to try this year should make all the

difference.

On the other hand, it seems entirely possible that a .314 OBP and a

101 OPS+ is exactly what Jay's capable of, since that what he has done

in 779 ML AB, and that trying to play good baseball isn't going to

make an ass-hair's width of difference.

Some other random thoughts.

Really looking forward to that Mitchell report. I mean really. I just

hope Andy MacPhail gets some of his tradin' done before that thing

comes out. The more I think about it, though, the more I realize there

is, above all, one player I do not want to see on the Mitchell Report:

Pedro.

Yes, that Pedro. Why? Because he is, without a doubt, the best pitcher

I have ever seen, the best pitcher I will probably ever see, and in

the running for best at doing whatever it is he does in ANY category

that I've ever seen. I want to believe that the weird, brilliant,

crazy, genius Pedro was real. I want to believe that the ERA+ of 291

(TWO. NINE. ONE. GOOD GOD THAT IS INSANE. SANDY KOUFAX NEVER CRACKED

200!!!!!!) in 2000 was real, untainted. I want to believe that he was

just that freakin' good. I want to believe that at least one natural

talent went out there against all those 'roided and leaded hitters and

made them look like fools. Even when those hitters were playing for my

beloved Orioles.

It boils down to this; the few times I saw Pedro pitch in person (and

many many times on TV) I genuinely felt I was watching somebody do the

thing he was born to do, and doing it inimitably. That's rare. I don't

want the Mitchell report to cheapen that. I really don't.

Posted by LastBestAngryMan at 9:13 PM


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