Sunday, 10 February 2008

greasy grimy grimsley and hgh



GREASY GRIMY GRIMSLEY AND THE HGH HYPOCRISY

I've been keeping up with the steroids taint surrounding baseball,

specifically Barry Bonds (as always) and Jason Grimsley (sterrorist of

the month), and the cockamamie malarkey that constitutes Major League

Baseball's drug policy.

Today, the MLB Commissioner's Office issued a 50 game suspension to

Jason Grimsley. Grimsley is the putz who was raided by 13 federal

agents after a season's worth of Human Growth Hormone was delivered to

his home. Apparently they'd happened upon his name while investigating

Barry Bonds, and so they went after Grimsley, to be a pawn in their

game---they had dirt on him, so it was one way or another. Save

yourself by dragging down others, the self-respecting way...

He'd cooperated with the FBI at first, then started to reject their

increasingly affectionate demands, which included wearing a wire. So

they popped him. But he'd already named names, admitted to using

steroids, HGH, and amphetamines, and in doing so, shamed his name to

the entire baseball player's union, however spoiled and corrupted they

may be. He'd requested a release from the Arizona Diamondbacks. He

already said he was effectively retired, a point reiterated by his

agent.

So what does MLB do? They suspend him. Todd Jones of the Detroit

Tigers had a great response: "It's kind of like giving a speeding

ticket to a guy that got killed in a car wreck."

And why did they suspend him? The sport has always been 40 years

behind every other organized sport league, they have always been

forced to take action, whether it be a lawsuit, a strike, or an act of

Congress. Their territorial-rights broadcast regulations are an

absolute crock. They have always taken a "wait and see, with our

thumbs up our rectal tracts" approach.

So why suspend Jason Grimsley? He hasn't failed a drug test since

2003, and that was before the current "Joint Drug Prevention and

Treatment Program" took effect. He admitted to using a substance that

isn't banned by MLB. There have been murmurs from the player's union

about a grievance being filed. Of course.

Ultimately, it's a moot point, unless Grimsley changes his mind and

decides to put his 39 year old body out there without any artificial

enhancements. But it gets weirder. Grimsley says he wants to get paid

the rest of his salary, and the Diamondbacks don't plan on granting

that request. Of course, indeed.

I don't know how I feel about this. Even though the guy is up shit

creek anyway with the Feds, MLB didn't really have a legitimate reason

to suspend him. And that shows how pathetic their drug policy really

is. Apparently there's not a test available right now that shows HGH

in the system, and he never actually failed a test under the current

guidelines. So was the commish correct in suspending him? Of course?

There's a great song by the Heptones, a reggae group, called

"Hypocrite":

Hypocrite, where will you run to now?

Hypocrite, you will get hurt somehow,

Hypocrite, I know that time will tell on you.

It's going to be very interesting to see how this plays out over the

next few months. I have a feeling that MLB, Congress, and the Player's

Union are going to be seeing each other in court more often than the

baseball field.

On a side note, hearing Jason Grimsley's name in the media so much

lately reminds me of another Grimsley who was a relief pitcher for the

Orioles and Expos. I distictly remember the first time I got his

baseball card in a pack of Topps cards from Osco in 1980: I thought he

was the weirdest looking guy I'd ever seen. Little would I know that


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