2007_12_09_archive

Here It is.

The Mitchell Report

REPORT TO THE COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL

OF AN INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION INTO

THE ILLEGAL USE OF STEROIDS AND OTHER

PERFORMANCE ENHANCING SUBSTANCES

BY PLAYERS IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

GEORGE J. MITCHELL

DLA PIPER US LLP

December 13, 2007

These are players connected to the Red Sox that were named:

Mo Vaughn, Mike Lansing, Kent Mercker, Mike Stanton, Eric Gagne,

Brendan Donnelly, Steve Woodard, Jose Canseco, Manny Alexander, Mike

Spinelli (minor leaguer), Paxton Crawford, Jeremy Giambi, Josias

Manzanillo (minor leaguer), Roger Clemens, Chris Donnels

Posted by Jerry Thomas at 2:03 PM 0 comments Links to this post

Leaked List?

This is the list of players on the Mitchell report that WNBC is

claiming was leaked to them. Take it for what it's worth:

Brady Anderson, Manny Alexander, Rick Ankiel, Jeff Bagwell, Barry

Bonds, Aaron Boone, Rafael Bettancourt, Bret Boone, Milton Bradley,

David Bell, Dante Bichette, Albert Belle, Paul Byrd, Wil Cordero, Ken

Caminiti, Mike Cameron, Ramon Castro, Jose and Ozzie Canseco, Roger

Clemens, Paxton Crawford, Wilson Delgado, Lenny Dykstra, Johnny Damon,

Carl Everett, Kyle Farnsworth, Ryan Franklin, Troy Glaus, Rich Garces,

Jason Grimsley, Troy Glaus, Juan Gonzalez, Eric Gagne, Nomar

Garciaparra, Jason Giambi, Jeremy Giambi, Jose Guillen, Jay Gibbons,

Juan Gonzalez, Clay Hensley, Jerry Hairston, Felix Heredia, Jr.Darren

Holmes, Wally Joyner, Darryl Kile, Matt Lawton, Raul Mondesi, Mark

McGwire, Guillermo Mota, Robert Machado, Damian Moss, Abraham Nunez,

Trot Nixon, Jose Offerman, Andy Pettitte, Mark Prior, Neifi Perez,

Rafael Palmiero, Albert Pujols, Brian Roberts, Juan Rincon, John

Rocker, Pudge Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, Scott Schoenweiss, David Segui,

Alex Sanchez, Gary Sheffield, Miguel Tejada, Julian Tavarez, Fernando

Tatis, Mo Vaughn, Jason Varitek, Ismael Valdes, Matt Williams, Kerry

Wood.

According to a friend of mine that has seen the report there are

inaccuracies to this list. Varitek, he said is not in the report.

Posted by Jerry Thomas at 1:17 PM 0 comments Links to this post

I Want a New Drug

We did not want to take such drastic measures but you forced our hand.

Mandatory testing will begin at Thom's immediately. Before you are

allowed to pay your bill you will be tested for sobriety. If any trace

of sobriety is found in your system you will be asked to stay and

poured another drink. The reputation of the bar is at stake! I also

have to state that this will not be a urine test, so please stop doing

that at the bar. (You know who you are.)

The field sobriety test that will consist of naming Roger Klemens'

kids, spelling "Mientkiewicz", and doing a Jim impression. The names

of those found to be sober will be released in these pages.

In case you haven't heard, MLB's study of steroid use in baseball

dubbed "The Mitchell Report" comes out today. Many doubt the integrity

of the report due to the fact that George Mitchell is involved with

the Red Sox and reportedly there are many Yankees on the list:

Clemens, Pettitte, Giambi. But, according to a "leaked" list of

players on WNBC several former and current Sox will be listed:

Varitek, Trot Nixon, Jose' Offerman, Mo Vaughn, Rich Garces, and

Nomar. We won't know if this list is at all accurate until the real

report is released at 2pm today. Rich "El Guapo" Garces (pictured

above) is the only accused player who began taking steroids after his

baseball career. MLB is claiming that his list has errors.

But, there are no errors in the fact that we've extended our Celtics

"Big Three Special". Celtics fans will get $3 Thom's Ale through the

end of the season. Wow! That's like a good deal on steroids.

Don't forget to be at Thom's this Saturday at 7 pm to celebrate our

2nd anniversary. As a token of appreciation we're going to have a 2

hour open bar. Warning: this will not be a sobering experience.

And finally, to all you Boston fans that think you got it so good,

this guy is here to keep you in check.

When the door came crashing down

And billy turned around

He felt the heart and soul inside him fall

He stood face to face

With the long arm of the law

You cant out run the long arm of the law

No, you cant out run the long arm of the law

You can hide out for a while

He says with a smile